let’s talk about it

Sex. Everyone knows everything about it.

There are, sadly, lots of lies and rumours about sex out there. And they’re not helping us. So we need to separate the truth from the lies right away. It’s important to know how our bodies and our minds work. So, here we go:

Lie #1

We can’t get pregnant if it’s our first time, if we’re on our period, or if we have sex in certain positions e.g. standing.

Truth #1

For pregnancy to occur, a sperm has to meet and fertilise an egg. It has nothing to do with the time or day we have sex, or the position in which we have sex. Even if we wash up, run around a room or urinate after sex, it won’t prevent pregnancy. As long as we don’t use protection, there’s a high chance of us getting pregnant.

Lie #2

Having sex with a virgin can cure a man of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI).

Truth #2

If you have an STI or suspect you have an STI, it’s best to go to the hospital for proper test and treatment . Having sex doesn’t cure anyone of any disease. People who say such ridiculous things are only out to cause trouble. The last thing we should do is pay them any attention

Lie #3

Girls who have sex and think about sex are ‘bad’ girls.

Truth #3

Being curious about sex and being sexually active are normal for all humans—girls, boys and everyone else. Remember, girls aren’t lesser humans than boys. Like them, we have questions and ideas about sex. It doesn’t mean we’re ‘bad’ girls. It just means we’re human beings. Nobody has the right to shame us for who we are.

Lie #4

If a guy likes a girl, she must have sex with him whether or not she wants to.

Truth #4

Our bodies belong to us alone. Our bodies aren’t some fancy gift to be given out once someone snaps their fingers. We don’t ‘owe’ anyone sex, no matter how crazy we are about them. We don’t need to sleep with someone to prove we love them. Having sex is a choice we can and should make by ourselves when we’re ready.

Lie #5: If you don’t want to have sex with a guy, he can force you to change your mind.

Truth #5

We see this all the time in books and movies. A girl refuses to date a guy she can’t stand, then he bugs her until she agrees. This creates the impression that in real life, when we say no, we really mean yes. But in fact, ‘no means no’ and ‘yes means yes’. No one should bully us into doing what we don’t want to do. If we don’t want to have sex with someone, let’s stand our ground. Even if we once said yes, we have the right to change our minds.

Note: Abstaining from sex is the surest way to avoid getting unwanted pregnancy and stds

Any concerns? Talk to a trusted adult or a health professional.